• Mothra@mander.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    105
    arrow-down
    4
    ·
    edit-2
    5 days ago

    I disagree with the glasses part as counterargument. Pizzas are sold by diameter in places that offer large and small - some even do medium. I also believe it would be nicer to have wider burgers instead of taller

    • markovs_gun@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      88
      ·
      5 days ago

      Counterpoint - pizzas are sold by diameter, but pretty much everyone I know underestimates how diameter corresponds to actual pizza size and think a 16" pizza is twice as big as an 8" pizza instead of four times as big, which it actually is. Meanwhile, a burger patty that is twice as big as another one is actually twice as tall, while one that is wider is only about ~41% wider. Vertical dimension is more intuitive for the overall mass difference.

    • daed@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      24
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      5 days ago

      Who would even eat the taller pizza? I’d find it disgusting. I’m not saying anything about the burger.

        • Hylactor@sopuli.xyz
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          51
          arrow-down
          7
          ·
          5 days ago

          I’ll do it, Chicago has terrible taste in food. Deep dish is preposterous, Malort is an abomination, and despite how you feel about ketchup, relish should not look like the ooze that creates ninja turtles.

          • exasperation@lemm.ee
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            22
            ·
            5 days ago

            Deep dish is delicious. Lasagna is delicious. Baked ziti is delicious. Calzones are delicious.

            Look, you can’t go wrong with tomato sauce, cheese, dough, and optional meat. It’s all delicious, and playing around with different ratios is still great.

          • Stamets@lemmy.worldOP
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            24
            arrow-down
            7
            ·
            5 days ago

            Thank you. A deep dish pizza isn’t a pizza. It’s, at best, a fucking stew.

              • Stamets@lemmy.worldOP
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                18
                arrow-down
                5
                ·
                edit-2
                5 days ago

                I recorded this rant because I’m bored. I fuckin hate deep dish and NY style pizza.

                I don’t know what kind of culinary trauma Chicago is working through but their pizza isn’t pizza, it’s a STEW, or at best a stew with ambitions. It’s a stew with a gluten lid. I need a ladle, not a fork. I have to displace sauce like I’m fording the fucking Oregon Trail just to find the crust. It’s lasagna that forgot it was Italian. It’s soup gaslit into thinking it can achieve something. You don’t eat that shit you survive it. You don’t chew it, you contemplate your entire life while shoveling it in and wondering how something with so much molten cheese could still feel emotionally cold.

                I’m in agreement with Jon when it comes to Deep-Dish pizza and how it isn’t a pizza but a tomato-laden crime scene in a cast-iron pan. But he comes in so hot and screaming like he’s right about how real pizza folds. No. No Jon. I ain’t ever going to trust a fucking dude from New Jersey when it comes to pizza. That’s just New York opinions with worse parking. It’s like if Staten Island got a podcast and decided it was a food critic. These are people who look at a strip mall and say “This is where I want my Italian food experience to begin.” You ever seen a pizza joint from Jersey? Half of them double as laundromats or vape shops. They serve slices so thin you could laminate one and use it as a fucking bookmark. Their idea of crust is “whatever’s left after sadness finishes baking.” You pick up a slice and it’ll collapse faster than their economy would if you banned tanning beds.

                Fucking Jon motherfucking goddamn Stewart out here talking about how reall pizza fooooolds. Oh. Does it? DOES IT JON? Real pizza folds? My money folds (jiggle jiggle). My spine folds after sleeping the wrong way. My dreams fold under the pressure of existence. That doesn’t make thme LUNCH. But of course he would love this goddamn monstrosity called ‘New York Style Pizza’. You would too if you grew up being told that thin floppy bread covered in oily regret was pizza. It isn’t pizza. It’s barely a suggestion of pizza. It’s whispering the concpet of mozzarella over a saltine while screaming about the Jets.

                I love Jon. I really do but I wish he would stick to tearing down Fox News and republicans because when he says NY Pizza is the real deal all I hear is “I enjoy food that is as thin, undercooked and as lacking in substance as a conservative argument.” Stay with eviscerating fascists and not defending pizza that looks like it needs an intervention and a fuckin’ towel.

                • Tower@lemm.ee
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  9
                  ·
                  5 days ago

                  I make no comment about the merit of your argument either way, but hot damn you love to see the passion!

                • MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  7
                  arrow-down
                  1
                  ·
                  5 days ago

                  You ever seen a pizza joint from Jersey? Half of them double as laundromats or vape shops.

                  I’ve been getting pizza from NJ for ~45 years. I have never seen this crossover.

                  Folded pizza is real, and it’s delicious.

                • Emptiness@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  5
                  ·
                  5 days ago

                  This was the most enjoyable read I’ve had since I joined Lemmy! Took me back to reddit just around the Digg-exodus era. Bravo!

                • JonsJava@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  2
                  ·
                  5 days ago

                  You bitch about Chicago Pizza? Fucking CHICAGO?!?

                  Let me introduce you to the abomination I’m trying to eliminate: Quad Cities Pizza

                  They are called TOPPINGS. toppings, not middleings, for the love of all things just and right.

          • milkisklim@lemm.ee
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            12
            ·
            edit-2
            5 days ago

            For anyone who is not from Chicago, Malort is a bitter liquor that tastes like you poured anise through a filter of mud and used motor oil.

            • ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              8
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              5 days ago

              It tastes like what male cat pee smells like.

              Though to be fair, I don’t think Chicago people like it either and only buy it because it’s terrible

              • milkisklim@lemm.ee
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                4
                ·
                5 days ago

                From what I understand it’s what you drink at the family reunion once you run out of cheap beer and need to forget how bad Chicago is.

          • callouscomic@lemm.ee
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            5 days ago

            Unsurprising from the same people who light train tracks on fire and lean out on glass 400 stories in the air for a thrill.

        • OpenStars@piefed.social
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          6
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          5 days ago

          Okay, but to be fair, while it is delicious, it also is not “pizza” (insert bit from Jon Stewart:-).

      • Damage@feddit.it
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        5 days ago

        Lol you know nothing about pizza. There’s pizza al trancio, pizza al tegamino, generic pizza alta, pizza doppia pasta (double dough), so on…

        Source: Italian

  • Goltbrook@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    3 days ago

    I want a place that makes tiny burgers

    Forget the premium burger places where burgers are held together by whaling harpoons and you need to eat them deconstructed. Instead of one giant undesirable burger give me a plate with 4 regular sized burgers in exciting variations.

    Give me a chicken chili burger, a double irish beef patty blue cheese burger, an italian herb lamb patty and as a chaser a smoked bison brisket with bourbon sauce.

    All on one plate. I would be happy

    4 burgers. 1 plate. 0 regrets.

    And if you don’t like one, you have 3 more chances to forgive the cook.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    46
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    edit-2
    5 days ago

    The A&W thing is more about Americans sucking ass at math than the difference between a wider or taller burger.

    They had a 1/3lb burger and dipshits thought the 1/4lb was bigger because they don’t understand fractions.

  • drdalek@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    49
    arrow-down
    5
    ·
    edit-2
    5 days ago

    This is a dumb response. Wider is easier to fit in your mouth and doesnt fall apart. Taller is just a mess and challenge to eat

    TLDR: it’s not a volume issue, its a distribution

    • D_C@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      15
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      5 days ago

      Exactly. Where I used to work there was a greasy cafe type place around the corner and the baps got wider the more stuff you ordered. If you ordered the Full Monty the burger bap was wider than my head. MY HEAD.
      You’re damn right I would order it every time I went in. It was glorious…and very unhealthy, but also glorious.

  • kn0wmad1c@programming.dev
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    43
    ·
    5 days ago

    Nah. If you put two plates in front of me and one had a regular burger on it and the other had a burger that was as wide as the plate itself, I’d pick the one that most accurately reflects how much I hate myself at that moment.

  • acidbattery@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    50
    ·
    5 days ago

    Buns and patties would have to come in two different sizes for wide and regular burgers, and it’s probably more economical for restaurants to make them all in one standard size.

    • SippyCup@feddit.nl
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      9
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      5 days ago

      The issue is toppings still have to go up. It’s not like you can do a burger with the works and have zones of flavor. “Ooh this was the lettuce bite! I hope I get the pickle next!”

      So the more you put on your burger the taller it gets.

      There’s also been an upsetting trend of smash burgers taking over every fucking restaurant. Ridiculously wide and flat patties that have a lot of flavor but it feels like you’re eating a fried piece of cheese rather than a good burger.

      Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy a good smash burger. It definitely has it’s place. I used to make them but found that just making a chopped cheese was easier and honestly a little better.

      But a fat, juicy, pink all the way through and almost red in the middle burger that squirts when you bite it will always be the king of my grill. And generally if I’m going to go get a burger somewhere, that’s what I’m actually craving. This burgers must be taller. If you make that kind of patty too wide you either need to add a binder to keep it together, which kinda ruins the texture, or you’ll need a really wide spatula to flip it and honestly some of them are still going to fall apart on you. Just the nature of the beast.

      • Psychadelligoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        5 days ago

        There’s also been an upsetting trend of smash burgers taking over every fucking restaurant. Ridiculously wide and flat patties that have a lot of flavor but it feels like you’re eating a fried piece of cheese rather than a good burger.

        If your smash burger is thin then they’re not doing it right

        Been smash cooking burgers since I was 8 (fuck me 21 years?! MY BURGER COOKING CAN DRINK?!) and never had a thin burger as a result

      • ExcessShiv@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        arrow-down
        9
        ·
        5 days ago

        A burger should have bun, meat, cheese, dressing and maybe bacon…Everything else is a side dish that has no business inside the burger.

    • bstix@feddit.dk
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      5 days ago

      Hers a wild idea: What if the restaurant made their own food, shaped exactly how they wanted it, instead of buying premade buns and patties?

      • Contentedness@lemmy.nz
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        5 days ago

        It’s a question of wage costs and consistency. Patties are easy enough but time consuming. Baking a good burger bun is a pretty specific skill as well as time consuming, and requires a lot of space and a good oven.

        Unless you’ve got customers happy to pay $40 for your artisan crafted burgers I don’t think it’d work.

  • Brave Little Hitachi Wand@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    17
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    5 days ago

    Nobody said it. So be it…

    A regular size, ⅓lb burger is plenty for anybody. If it was unsatisfying, use better ingredients or stronger flavours.

  • CallateCoyote@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    18
    ·
    edit-2
    5 days ago

    It’s true. I’m a bartender. When I serve a drink in a to-go cup I sometimes get people bitching “oh, that’s all I get?” and then I passive aggressively demonstrate to them that it’s the same as it would be in a pint glass but it’s just shorter and wider.

    • andybytes@programming.dev
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      5 days ago

      Don’t fucking people do anything for themselves anymore. I mean this is like a service economy right so everybody’s just going around wiping each other’s buttholes and passing Around 20 bucks… Just like having to explain the most elementary things, you know, it’s just ridiculous. Like having you ever just like drank whiskey out of like any fucking thing you can find. But then you’re trying to be responsible and you measure it out. But then you end up drinking like half or all the bottle. Clearly, in a normal cup, a shot of whiskey looks like nothing.

  • Blass Rose@pawb.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    16
    ·
    5 days ago

    Literally at my restaurant right now the burger with 3 smaller patties is more popular than the burger with 2 bigger patties. Same total amount of meat, just taller on a smaller bun…

  • supernicepojo@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    37
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    5 days ago

    A&W tried something like this. Sold a 1/3 pound burger because its bigger than the popular Quarter Pounder sold by its competition, larger than a Whopper even. It undersold and when people were asked why; it turns out people think 1/3 is less than 1/4. By the numbers, here.

      • WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        5 days ago

        Tbf any variation of “one third of a pound” is a shit name, so all this proves is that they failed to market the product.

        The real answer is likely that extra wide buns are not available from suppliers, and nowhere bakes their own bread these days. For the chains that have their own off-site bakeries and supply chains, the majority of consumers probably don’t want a much bigger burger, and those that do have big enough mouths to fit extra tall burgers, or buy 2 burgers which are easier to eat. I know if I’m extra hungry I’ll grab 2 cheeseburgers, but most of the time 1 plus the mandatory chips is enough childhood nostalgia junk for me. I wouldn’t care about a 50% wider cheeseburger.

        • Tower@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          5 days ago

          They’re likely all getting their buns (and everything else) from Sysco anyways, so I can’t imagine different sized buns would be that hard to source.

    • neidu3@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      edit-2
      5 days ago

      Murica!

      To be fair, I can’t think of a good name for a 3rd of a pound. “Thrice Slice” looks good, but is cumbersome to pronounce, and it sounds like a pizza.

    • CluckN@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      5 days ago

      Ok I’ve always hated this “advertising study”. A&W is a small fish in a big pond. Expecting their shitty third pounder to outsell a core McDonalds menu item in its prime is a Herculean task. Americans do suck at math but maybe your burger sucked a bit more.

      • Scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        5 days ago

        Well, yes, but also McDonald’s did it to themselves too. About 20 years ago when I worked there (holy shit I just realized it was 20 years ago), they had the Angus 1/3 pounders. They flopped hard. Exact same reasoning, both from their corporate offices and me anecdotally, people are fucking stupid. They really thought they were getting ripped off because the quarter pounder was more meat than the 1/3 pound Angus burger according to them. I, tiny teenage me tried explaining it to them, to no avail. Fucking morons.

        You want to lose hope for the human race, work in a service industry

      • supernicepojo@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        5 days ago

        See youve got it! There is some import to this, AW was never gonna pull Mcd and Bk #’s but the fact is that their burger undersold at their restaurants and this is the reason they eventually found. Not poor locations, which they were, not poor advertising, which was dismal. AW was well known for burgers and ice cream and may have had a chance if it wasnt run by clown college graduates.

  • grrgyle@slrpnk.net
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    30
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    5 days ago

    But wider = more taste surface. See smash burgers. Taller is just… more burger to toppings ratio. Diminishing returns, imo.

  • valkyrieangela@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    18
    ·
    5 days ago

    It’s not a comparison of size, it’s just the formatting of the sandwich to fit better with the way the human jaw is made… What a dumb argument