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green is asparagus if i remember right
Eat beets.
Forget you ate beets.
Peek.
Slightly panic for the fraction of a second before you remember you ate beets.I remember crying on the toilet for at least 30 minutes when I was a kid. My pee was red-ish, my poop was red. I thought I was bleeding from everywhere.
My father finally got out from me why I was crying for so long, and explained that, yes, it is indeed related to the 2 jars of pickled beets I ate.
i pooped red and panicked until like a week later that I was just a fatass who ate an entire family sized bag of hot Cheetos in one sitting
same thing but it was black because of the licorice-flavored icecream at a tourist shop. someday i want to go back and try the other flavors: i suspect they’re all like that and this is part of the novelty.
I recently had a short illness that involved my body thoroughly purging anything I put inside of it without much change to the content. (I’m mostly better now.)
At one point my wife made me a 32oz smoothie in the hopes that it would provide me with some nutrients. It was visually very dark. I consumed and enjoyed it, then fell asleep and forgot about it.
A few hours later, I ran to the bathroom with great urgency and was very alarmed until I remembered the smoothie.
Purple dragon fruit, too. It’s like your pouring the cordial directly into the bowl.
Panic, not know about the beetroot thing, go to hospital and then get told to stop wasting their time by an annoyed doctor who doesn’t want to deal with your stupidity.
The daycare called me at work freaking out and asking me to come get my daughter and get her to the doctor because she was pissing red. Turns out they had been feeding her beetroot.
As bland as I’ve ever found The Cleveland Show, their one joke about beets has stood the testament of time in my head, and still finds me singing 🎵 It’s not blooood~ 🎵 on random occasions lol
Vitamin B12 turns your pee vivid neon yellow if your body doesn’t absorb it. I pour nooch (Nutritional yeast, savory substitute for dry crumbly cheeses) on like every other thing I eat, and it’s pretty much the most B12-dense food there is, so my pee is often like comic book bright yellow.
nooch
Is that an actual slang term for nutritional yeast? I’m struggling to think of a less appetizing word.
Then again, I can see myself letting out a dumb little laugh while saying “I’m nooching my corn”, so maybe it’s actually brilliant.
Yeah it is, I fucking hate it too along with whoever the hell coined it but it’s used so frequently in discussion that I stopped fighting it.
I believe it is also a specific brand of nutritional yeast seasoning.
‘Sloppy joe’. Nothing that can be described as ‘sloppy’ should be food.
Sloppy food is the best kind. Nachos, tacos, crab, ribs, chilli dogs, ice cream cones…
That plus a microdose of beet juice is a common way to fake the color aspect of diluting your urine drug test.
I usually get highlighter yellow pee after eating baguettes with chicken strips.
Probably not related, but that’s something too.
uh, ooo. are there different or better brands of nooch because i am constantly b12 deficient (i am missing some parts) and eating something that tastes like cheese every day? fuck i’ll put this on my popcorn.
I get Bragg’s brand, comes in a 4.5oz plastic shaker like parmesan cheese, usually sold near the spices in US supermarkets. It’s perfect for popcorn, though my favorite is putting it on pasta w tomato sauce.
oh see, i’m a no on my sauce. i gotta sop it up with my garlic bread
I get the B12 spray from the store and use it once a day. Usually keeps me covered
What are the health effects so far?
But vegans don’t get any b12…
I get plenty from my energy drinks, thank you very much
After reading “Reddit, assemble!”, I imagined a bunch of superheroes in stereotypical reddittor attire.
What is the stereotypical Reddit attire?
Neckbeard and fedora?
“Reddit. Do. Your. Thing.”
I was on a backpacking trip around the age of 17, multi-day thing. They had packets of some kind of electrolyte drink in some of the dehydrated meals. It was bright green colored. Everyone who ate that meal packet that night had pee in the range of ‘wat’ to ‘wwwat?’, followed by a poop with a distinct segment in the ‘wat’ range.
I picked up an off-brand energy drink that was neon red at some random convenience store once at 3 in the morning, and the next time I took a leak my pee was lime green. After that, perfectly fine. Never got an explanation lol
Consuming a lot of certain B vitamins can turn your pee green, I think they’re also pretty commonly added to energy drinks
Purple in a catheter bag is totally a thing btw, and considered benign.
What if it’s not in a catheter bags?
Ziplock works just a well
It’s on the floor and the mops dissolving. Please advise. It’s acid plutonium. We took plutonium and made it an acid. Then I drank it. Then I peed in the corner near those steam pipes.
Okay, you’re looking at heavy metal poisoning. That is, if your body was even capable of absorbing whatever molecule you made. Unless you were lazy and just dissolved the plutonium in an acid, like an aqua regia. But drinking aqua regia is a fast way to die, so that means you did some plutonium chemistry. Which is completely doable. It’s an element with chemical properties, just like any other.
As for the radioactivity, that depends on the isotope. Pu-236 and Pu-238 would be instant death. Pu-239, would be uncomfortably warm in your gut, but might be survivable in minute amounts.
Survivability would actually go up from there, except with Pu-241 which is instant death again. But Pu-244 would be the one I’d take if forced at gunpoint. A half life of 80 million years is not great, but it’s the best plutonium can do.
What’s funny is when I was writing that joke I thought about say “dissolved in acid” but decided it would be far more ridiculous to say “made it an acid”.
I’m no chemist but I’m pretty sure acids are a combination of different elements. Nope this is pure plutonium turned into an acid (for the lore of joke obviously this didn’t happen)
It’s a catheter specific thing. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purple_urine_bag_syndrome
Lower right quadrant is “stop eating so much asparagus”!
Lower left could also be “stop drinking so much carrot juice”! But that might just be a skin color thing.
lower left can also be “fuck i just woke up. i need to drink something”
Asparagus is good for you. It removes excess salt from your body.
lol what, you don’t need help getting rid of salt, that’s the whole point of your kidneys! just drink more!
Ok Stinky. lol
When you drink antifreeze///
Turquoise is porphyria.
I thought that was purple?
Actually you’re correct. It’s red / purple. It was Pseudomonas infections that cause blue/green urine. Not the same thing at all.
Porphurine.
I had beets 😋
I pee out these.
The cleanup is very practical.
sweetart brand candy cane?
Depends on how much liquor I drink, but yeah, sometimes.
Ohh that’s the good shit.
more urine?
If you pee on the PH test and it comes up blue, you need an antibiotic, if it comes up, orange, ruh-roh. If you are a cat I mean… Our cat has had a UTI and can’t seem to shake it. Stupid amoxicillin and whatever else hasn’t been able to fully get rid of it
If you leave it in sunlight and it turns purple, that’s Acute Intermittent Porphyria.
Cats a vampire.
Mmm. Heavy metals.
🤘
