Another reason nice are so smart. They leave the cheese for me or. else.

Earl Jam

Fair. If I’m serving, maybe I wait until she falls asleep and that’s how I get my point

It’s really hard to get the button presses in fast enough in a professional tennis match

My internet is appalled

E̴̟͆X̵̡̨͋͒͠ͅP̴̨͔̀È̷̥͎̏̍Č̴͖͊̃Ṯ̸̒̐̑I̴̫̮̽́͝ ̷̧̞̃L̵̠̮̠̂͊U̵̙̳̩̾̿Ĭ̶͈̘̒͑G̵͓͇̰͗̚͠I̴͚̼͕̎̕

You can have different kinds of beers (or like me, since my vice of choice is cannabis, joints) on different kinds of days.

And he deserves the comparison

I dunno what to say. I never got any viruses. I scanned everything before I opened it and never downloaded any exes.

You maniacs! You blew it all up!

home defense spanners. I’ve got a half meter one. it fits the giant bolts attaching my toilet to the floor/pipe and that’s about it.

you can’t see the grease from a distance how am i supposed to tell if the camera’s been justiced

So what’s the green one do?

Jump higher and dismantle the bourgeoisie.

I should have died on multiple occasions 20ish years ago. It got to the point my friends started running a death pool for me. Outliving the last bet and several of the low betters felt pretty neat.

Hot dog earth has nothing on BratwEarth

Excuse me but salty is just another part of the cheese pyramid

When I was in college one of my neighbors would light a candle on the porch and then sprinkle creamer on it. Made quite the fireball.

I want to try one of those yellow biting onions

A friend of mine who worked at a sandwich shop introduced me to spike. I normally want my tomatoes cooked, but seasoned with spike is pretty good too

I like the flavor of vinegar. That’s why I put on mayo, mustard…