Thought of something fun the other day. While putting away groceries in the fridge, I realized that having a nubbin or something on the bottom of the refrigerator door would be massively helpful, allowing me to manipulate the door with my foot while I have full arms/hands.

So I went to reddit ‘showerthoughts’, which I thought was an appropriate venue for the idea, posted aaaaaaand immediately deleted. Mod said “read the rules,” and -no joke- it was like 5 pages of bullshit, wrapped in bullshit with bullshit bullet points. And despite reading it carefully, nowhere did I find the supposed rule I violated which was “to reply to your own post in the comments.”

Bro, fuck your website, fuck your rules, and fuck you.

I just back from vacation, stayed at a hotel that had free breakfast from 6-9. I was in that hotel for a full week, didn’t make it to breakfast once. Felt like a waste of money, waking up at noon and walking to a breakfast place nearby, but I’d rather pay for a meal than wake up early so 🤷‍♂️

Ah don’t worry about it. I’ve been working out since I was a kid and have fucked up so much it’s ludicrous. When nobody tells you how to work out, you end up doing shit wrong. It’s OK though, because just like life, it’s one long slow learning process.

Like, I want to compete in a body building competition, and so I diligently went about my training regimen with renewed focus and determination. Started posing practice after each workout. Couple weeks before the show, I’m at 6% bodyfat, lookin good, feeling good. Then I think “wait a tick, in all my posing, I’ve never actually seen what my back pose looks like.” So I went and set up a tripod and camera and took some shots and… woof. My back is underdeveloped as shit. Look like a body builder from the front, and a lil’ twink stick figure from the back.

So now I incorporate 3 more back exercises.

Also, I only ever started doing a regular Leg Day like 6 months ago (Just bicycled and ran before).

So, yeah. Now I’ve got a competition circled that’s further out so I can focus on back, and hopefully by then I’ll be ready. If not, oh well, just circle the next show on the ol’ calendar.

PROGRESS

You’d have to give it the ol’ Jamie Oliver treatment. De-everything it, until it’s just meat, then blend it up, coat it with breadcrumbs, and serve it as chicken* nuggets.

Probably the only way I’d ever eat bugs.

When I fill the pot to make coffee, sometimes I’ll turn the faucet on and then turn away to complete some other quick task. Inevitably, I sometimes take too long on the secondary task, and come back to good, potable water flowing out into the drain. It makes me think about how that truly is the most valuable resource, and some day, I may look back upon those moments of carelessness with great shame. I’m not sure when the next big awful thing that will wipe out entire populations will come, but I’m already preparing myself to feel guilty about it.

What a wonderful way to spend life. I think I should start building a self-sustaining cabin in the mountains somewhere 😑

French fries

Well,

Thomas Jefferson had “potatoes served in the French manner” at a White House dinner in 1802. The expression “french fried potatoes” first occurred in print in English in the 1856 work Cookery for Maids of All Work by Eliza Warren: “French Fried Potatoes. – Cut new potatoes in thin slices, put them in boiling fat, and a little salt; fry both sides of a light golden brown colour; drain.” This account referred to thin, shallow-fried slices of potato. It is not clear where or when the now familiar deep-fried batons or fingers of potato were first prepared. In the early 20th century, the term “french fried” was being used in the sense of “deep-fried” for foods like onion rings or chicken.

One story about the name “french fries” claims that when the American Expeditionary Forces arrived in Belgium during World War I, they assumed that chips were a French dish because French was spoken in the Belgian Army. But the name existed long before that in English, and the popularity of the term did not increase for decades after 1917. The term was in use in the United States as early as 1886. An 1899 item in Good Housekeeping specifically references Kitchen Economy in France: “The perfection of French fries is due chiefly to the fact that plenty of fat is used.”

Americans coined a phrase and ran with it, it seems 🤷‍♂️

This reminds me of when americans renamed French fries “Freedom Fries.”

This level of pettiness is something I am truly proud of, and love to see. When Canada floated that idea of welcoming in California, Oregon and Washington state as territories, my first thought was “I would move there so fucking fast, I’d leave a me-sized cloud of dust in this shithole regressive country and never once look back”

lol you’re a fucking loser. eat shit troll.

yeah sure, I love wasting time arguing with bad faith actors! You’re clearly in the special group of the best thinkers, it’s so fun to spend time talking with people like you!

Yeah this is totally warranted given the recent news. I mean, one side trying to expand medicare, the other gutting it. One side trying to close Guantanamo bay, the other opening concentration camps on it. One side trying to get money out of politics, the other side destroying democracy for want of more money.

Totally helpful, totally warranted, OP. Well done. Way to go. You’re so cool and centrist.

Can confirm, my High School Creative Writing and English Teachers were my favorite ❤️‍

jesus fucking christ

finally got around to finishing that, it was pretty good, my only beef was

Welcome to the Jungle - Gunz n’ roses

or

This Land is Your Land - Woody Guthrie

I like to do that with great albums. I’ll listen to the whole thing, just, over and over and over again. Until I’ve got pretty much the whole thing memorized. Then I go on to another one. I’ll only do it that way if the whole album is banging, though.

Past examples include:

• Beach Boys - Pet Sounds
• My Morning Jacket - Circuital
• Wu-Tang Clan - Enter the 36 Chambers
• Kendrick Lamar - Good Kid Maad City (& DAMN)
• RadioHead - Kid A (& OK Computer)
• Jeff Tweedy - Warm
• The Tragically Hip - Day For Night

EDIT: couldn’t find the full Tweedy Album, so just linked my favorite song from it

Oh god, what’s in the steaming tray in the last panel?? It’s a microwave meal, right?

…RIGHT?

Had a spider in my bathroom that I befriended. Named Steve. He was a tiny little thing that stayed on the crown molding, and had the foresight not to invade the inner sanctum of the shower space. I noticed Steve wasn’t catching many bugs, so I killed a fly, and while it was still twitching, I held it up for Steve to look at, then dropped said fly into his web. Steve must’ve been put off by the fact that the fly quickly died, and he didn’t bother eating it. Steve has now passed, starved up there in his web, without ever even touching that big ass fly I caught him.

Spiders are stupid. You’re a more efficient bug-killer by far, I’d wager.

From the golden age of Simpsons, Homer sneaking out of work to go to the Duff Brewery https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jyOxna1x8s

shit I have a pair of inflatable twin mattresses that can be joined together. open up my sleeping bag, put it down as base warmth, with a pillow and another cozy blanket… That pretty much meets the definition

ok, be wrong in whatever fashion that agrees with you, then.