How can this feel so wholesome and creepy at the same time?

I’m nearby and we have been having lady bugs and stinkbugs everywhere too. Shits ridiculous.

Is he eating salad in a cheap hotel room?

I swear to fucking god the next white dude who tries to play Devil’s Advocate with me is getting throwen out the window.

Murdering a bunch of poachers in the Forbidden Forest by throwing cabbages at them. I doubt the Ministry is going to be too happy about my body count.

That scene from The Neverending Story scarred me for life. You know the one I’m talking about. Poor Artax.

Am I having a stroke?

🎶 One of these things is not like the others 🎶

Oh god I had a Keith at my work place. Wanted to show me shit on his phone instead of working. What is it with Keiths!?

It always blew my mind that boats are a She, but heaven forbid we allow any women on board, they are unlucky. Like really!?

Don’t tell me how to live my life.

Huh, I never thought about doing this. Maybe I should start.

Well that is a causually smoking demon from my nightmares.

That’s not very disco of you.

Yeah that’s a unicorn horn of a dong right there.

Whelp now I’m sad.

This is depressingly accurate.

Ah, but of course!

Am women is legit. It happens.

As a homeowner? Person. While it might be terrifying to discover a hobo living in the attic, at least they won’t infest every electronic item I own. And they can’t fit into the walls.

I made the mistake of staying with a boyfriend who didn’t disclose his roach infestation until I was already there. My god. They were everywhere. They didn’t even run when you turned the light, just give me a wave with one leg like, hey, how you doing?