So, right off the bat let’s just assume there are no “monkey’s paw” style downsides to these for this discussion.
Perfect memory mostly encompasses omnilingual because you’d only need to learn every word and rule one time and know it forever. Perfect memory also encompasses natural talent because muscle memory is a form of memory as well so all mental and physical skills would be incredibly easy to learn. No monkey’s paw: You don’t get bad memories forever stuck in the front of your consciousness.
The only upside omnilingual has over perfect recall is knowing dead languages no one else does.
The only upside for natural talent is that it probably makes you get stronger quicker. Gaining muscles is not a matter of remembering.
Perfect health is tempting because you’d live a long life without concerns of problems. No monkey’s paw: You can still die of old age or decide to end our own life. Let’s also say you can’t just skip sleep or skip eating and be fine. You still have to do the bare minimum to take care of yourself, you’re basically not a zombie (how they seem to just live forever).
Always having exact change is essentially infinite money. It’s fair to assume that for purchases where enough physical money couldn’t fit in your pocket that you’d get something like a prepaid debit card with the money you’d need. Even for things that you don’t pay with from your pocket (like buying a house) you could still go to the bank and fill out a slip saying you’re depositing a million dollars and get the money in your pocket to do so. Then wire the money over once it clears.
For time pausing whole you’re asleep, I’m going to interpret this as the ability to get rest without wasting your time. So essentially you don’t need to sleep. You still need to but for whatever reason you get the time back. So you still would need to take some time to find a bed and fall asleep but that’s still about a full 7 extra hours every day. Assuming you sleep 8 hours and are awake 16 you’re missing a third of your life. Sure, there isn’t as much to do when everyone is asleep but that’s still a nice effective extension to your life. No monkey’s paw: you aren’t stuck in some frozen time world forever the first time you sleep lol.
An interesting conundrum is picking between the free sleep and perfect health pills. If you’re already pretty healthy and have a low risk factor for diseases that affect quality of life but not the length of your life you may want to consider the perfect sleep power because it is going to roughly double your time.
Telekinesis is a curve ball. Saying it is only as strong as you are I will interpret it as meaning it is basically just another muscle and you can wear yourself out doing it. It’s cool but given those limitations I personally don’t find it worth it.
The tasty love pill is basically the opt out choice. It doesn’t do anything other than give you a one-time unique experience. I’m treating it as a none of the above.
So really it comes down to these:
- Omnilingual: if you specifically want to know dead languages no one knows (an extremely niche situation that might fascinate some anthropologists)
- Perfect memory: Effectively being able to learn to do anything new (including physical tasks) super quick while also memorizing anything instantly.
- Natural talent: you specifically want to gain muscles quick but don’t care as much about perfect memory.
- Perfect health: Better than free sleep for most people. Ensures you live aong and high quality life.
- Exact change: It’s just infinite money.
- Free sleep: Better for folks who are already healthy and don’t have many risk factors since it will roughly double your time you get to spend doing things.
- Telekinesis: A cool little power for the folks who are otherwise satisfied with their current abilities, life, and money. 8: Yummy love: A meme answer.
A lot of this can be summarized to,
- Do you want to be really good at things?
- Do you want to have a higher quality of life for longer?
- Do you want to be hyper rich?
Personally I think I’d want to really good at things. Specifically number 3, natural talent. I think being able to easily get fit would outweigh the benefits of having a truly perfect memory. Also there’s a lot of skills that just require raw discipline and not any sort of memory. I think I could get a lot of the benefits of perfect health by becoming more disciplined. I think this a great well rounded choice.
Infinite money is very tempting but also an incredible burden. Suddenly every problem you see becomes one you could solve if you just gave the money. It would give me a lot of guilt.
I’d watse my time I could be sleeping just doing stupid stuff. Perfect health is tempting though.
I disagree about the natural talent one. From my perspective thats the obvious first pick. At work I’m currently training to be a Crane Operator and struggle busing hard with it. Like yeah I could use it to get muscles but thats not even where I first went just because imo the ability to quickly learn a new skill is invaluable. imagine being a natural at negotiating business dealings to get a favorable outcome for your side. once you figure out how to turn your natural talent into money a lot of the other things will be able to fall into place.
I disagree about the natural talent one. From my perspective thats the obvious first pick. At work I’m currently training to be a Crane Operator and struggle busing hard with it. Like yeah I could use it to get muscles but thats not even where I first went just because imo the ability to quickly learn a new skill is invaluable. imagine being a natural at negotiating business dealings to get a favorable outcome for your side. once you figure out how to turn your natural talent into money a lot of the other things will be able to fall into place.
3 and 4 by a mile, are you kidding? Everyone picking 2 doesn’t lay awake at night cringing at past memories.
6 basically increases your lifespan by a 1/3. So if you would have normally lived to 75 you get to 100.
Sounds like it would make things like surgery with general anesthesia impossible though.
Edit: Now that I think about it, wouldn’t 4 be better since it makes you functionally immortal? Dying from old age just means dying due to some of those health conditions (heart disease, cancer etc.) that get more and more likely the older you get. If you can’t get those, you don’t die of old age.
Perfect health means you’ll be immortal. Combined with being talented you can do anything you want
Felt like perfect health was just like you’re never sick, never get a cavity, yada yada as these are all kind of lowkey powers
Yeah I agree that immortal probably isn’t accurate in my opinion. It depends on how liberal you interpret the term “healthy”. Is a stab wound bad health? Is decapitation bad health? I’d argue no, but there is a (weak imo) argument that it is.
A stab wound on good health heals better than a stab wound on bad health. Any injuries short of death is still better in a healthy body. I would not want a scratch on a diabetic body. And even if immortality is not on the table, severe chronic illness makes aging disgraceful.
6 is really fun until you are stuck in a loop while trying to have life saving surgery.
Everyone skipping 4 is either young, or never had to deal with health problems.
- I assure all of you, that is the most OP of all the options.
Never get sick, no cancer, no aches, no heart disease, no Alzheimer’s, etc…
picks 4 and 6
gets hit by a train
the universe stops
deleted by creator
Perfect health seems kinda suss. That pill looking like a cigarette
3 and 4. Making great works of art would be easy peasy, then proceeding to be a couch potato while eating junk food and not having to worry at all about clogged arteries, diabetes, etc? Never having to worry about diseases? Count me the fuck in.
1+3
I assume that being omnilingual means the perfect ability to verbally communicate.
With unlimited learning potential I can do whatever I want. Perfect health can follow easily because apparently getting fit and exercising properly is partly a skill, and frankly I don’t want to feel entitled to my own health.
Considering 1 is a worse version of 2, which is a worse version of 3, I’d have to choose 3 and 4
1 and 4! I can visit any country, heck, any world and never get sick
So 8 is like a one time feeling of love? That sure beats telekinesis
Ok telekinesis would be cool.
But I’m going with 2 and 6.
2 because my short term and long term memory is really bad (compared to most other people), which is makes college and work extremely difficult. Also, it’d be nice to remember my anniversary. So a cute would be awesome even if it comes with some downsides. I’m pretty good about accepting things and not getting thing up on stuff.
6 is great because it can be similar to perfect health. I think that can be interpreted two ways, immortalality or perfect health RIGHT NOW. I don’t really want to live forever. That only seems to have downsides. so I’d rather an extra 8 hours in my day where I can devote some of that to working out and eating healthier. I do that now, but I’m too busy to be as consistent as I’d like.
3 & 4 for sure. Idgaf about most of the rest of em
3 and 4. Perfect health is a no brainer and lets you enjoy life for way longer. And the natural talent one would let you easily learn the skills to come close to perfect memory and to know every language, giving you the benefits of 1 and 2 as well.
#4 is enough. Taking #3 is an extra treat.
