• 0 Posts
  • 103 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: June 14th, 2023
  • spankinspinach@sh.itjust.workstoMemes@lemmy.ml•The hole in the tank is a bullet wound from a successful suicide attempt
    2·
    1 month ago

    I’m sorry I didn’t respond sooner, I just wanted to give this the time it deserved :)

    I agree the man-up mentality needs to die, or at least be dialed back. It’s not inherently bad, tough love is a thing, but our society has taken manning up to an untenable extreme. For the record, I think the meme did an excellent job of putting a truthful light on the current reality - it definitely got us talking!

    I agree about DEI, and love your comment about equality. Ppl often forget that equality means for everyone, and I think men are villainized as a general punching bag (punching up?). In this respect, I think men maybe pay a price that is overlooked for the more tangible equity issues (e.g. pay and service access for minorities)? But I’m cautious to bang that drum too hard haha just thinking it through.

    I see what you’re digging at about therapy, and it’s possibly a perception issue on my end. It’s hard to tell someone they need therapy at any time, and my sensitivities may just be coming into play there. Therapy can be incredibly helpful.

    Women absolutely get saddled with unfair emotional labour. I think it’s a bit of a downstream effect of unhealthy male emotions, in that men are taught to clam up and hide from feelings for decades, then get into relationships with women who just want the best for their partners. Men finally have a safe place for the first time in their lives, and BOOM all of it comes out with no skill at managing it haha. I’m not excusing this behavior, it can lead to some bad outcomes. I think there’s a balance - ppl in relationships need to do their fair share or emotional labour (relationships aren’t always 50/50, sometimes they’re 90/10), and men haven’t been taught to do their half. But at some point, they also need to take accountability and learn to do their half, dang it (see tough love lol).

    All in all, I agree this is a stupidly complex topic, and I agree we proooobably won’t fix mens’ relationships with the world and themselves in this conversation, but we can try! That said, I’d be very happy if we could find a way to meme our way to a better place for everyone :) thank you for digging into it with me!

  • spankinspinach@sh.itjust.workstoMemes@lemmy.ml•The hole in the tank is a bullet wound from a successful suicide attempt
    4·
    1 month ago

    Haha sorry in advance for a long response, I love psychology and am a strong male mental health advocate :) TL;DR: I don’t have the answers, its getting better societally but that doesn’t solve it at an individual level, I believe loneliness and being heard are major contributing factors.

    I’m hard pressed to give you a good answer on that. I think it’s more socially acceptable for men to have feelings, but maybe it’s hard for the crop of men 30+ to understand that due to their upbringing, and seek help (it’s getting much better for Gen Z, I understand). So maybe the options are there, but the “man up” mindset persists?

    There may also be an individual element to it - the willingness to learn about our own feelings after decades of “man up” can be perplexing at best (I’ve been blessed with some wonderful women in my life and it is still in my blindspot all the time). I understand there are also many women that expect their men to “man up”, not to say that’s the norm though.

    I don’t have a good answer for you on the last point either. I think go to therapy is great, but i find that being male and our problems can be wildly isolating and lonely experiences - being told to go to therapy is kind of “take your feelings over there”. At the same time, until men are able to build healthier communication with their loved ones, I think it won’t be solved (which is where therapy does help).