I never understood why people hated smart TVs until one day mine decided to install an update that presents me with advertisements and a hub screen when I turn it on. If I don’t select something in time, the screen disappears, which locks all of the controls, and I can only reset it by turning it off and on again. Why??? Just why?!?!

Hey babe, want to hear my mixtape? It’s all Rush and there’s only like four songs but it’s two hours long.

No wait, please come back…