I was pretty skeptical of them when I clicked “Technology Connections” video on them. It’s the same thing as a convection oven, what’s the big deal?

Well it’s the same just like how a quadcopter drone is the same thing as a RC dual rotor helicopter

It’s like yeah they’re the same thing, but they have some important differences too.

Reminds me of the middle third of a song by propagandhi from their 1993 album “how to clean everything”

An amalgamation of jewish scripture and christian thought. 
What will that get you? Not a fuck of a lot.
 Take a look at your promised land. 
Your deed is that gun in your hand. 
Mt. Zion’s a minefield, The West Bank, The Gaza strip… 
Soon to be parking lots...
for American tourists and fascist cops. 
Fuck zionism. 
Fuck militarism. 
Fuck americanism. 
Fuck nationalism. 
Fuck religion.

The last third of the song is them just singing fuck religion over and over again. The first third is about rastafarianism.

It wasn’t “insisting on their right to secede” it was “attacking Fort Sumter to exercise a supposed right to secede”

I heard this comment

Even if there was authenticated video of him hanging himself, it is still a scandal/ conspiracy cover up that it was allowed to happen.

It ought to have been impossible.

I’m not a person with a minority Sexual Orientation/Gender Identity, but here are my two cents: I think upvoting supportive content in a space that’s safe and welcoming to people with minority SOGIs is zero impact, online commenting in that same welcoming space is about as impactful as upvoting in a less welcoming space, both of which are directly adjacent to zero impact. I reckon that negatively reacting to an SOGI antagonist (eg the coworker you mentioned), is an appreciable act of allyship, more impact than a token gesture during Pride. I’m not sure if it would be higher or lower than an anonymous complaint to HR about discriminatory language.

/u/Nexy is confused about the difference between a political view and an identity.

They are correct that there isn’t really a difference between being an ally of a political movement like Feminism and being a member of that movement (although I think that movements/organizations with different priorities can be allies with a movement like Feminism, e.g.) a person is either a Feminist or not a Feminist there’s nobody that’s an ally of Feminism.

But there is a difference between advocating for rights for people with minority Sexual Orientation and Gender Identities (SOGIs), and being a person that is 2SLGBTQI. If we had a word that encapsulated the movement like Feminism does then we wouldn’t need to tack on “ally”. SOGI-ism? Good luck.

Custodienne

Yeah, we know a lot about ancient Egypt, but there’s a lot we don’t know too.

That’s pretty much my understanding too, but I’d like to point out that conscripted labor is pretty analogous to a tax. My contemplation on the subject:

I think equitable taxes are good when the revenue is used for things that benefit society.

I don’t know how equitably the labour was conscripted.

I don’t think enormous pyramids are good for society, but on the other hand I don’t know how ancient Egyptian workers would have felt about the topic.

I suspect that the Pharoahs weren’t very concerned about how the workers felt about the topic.

Yeah that sounds like what was explained to me

I needed to upgrade my modem because the isp capped the speed of docsis 3.0 modems to like 75Mbps. I remember being quite upset because I was previously getting 125Mbps service on the same modem. I seem to recall there was a quasi legit technical reason for it though.

Women are not allowed to choose what they wear and they are probably looking for revenue streams and the pendulum is swinging away from religious tolerance.

Jeezus!

Sorry that it has taken me a long time to respond, I’ve been at the cabin, away from my phone.

Yeah the problem is that because of the history of discrimination we don’t have words for relatively harmless discriminatory tendencies. So if I were to say

I have racist tendencies

it sounds like I’m admitting to being a “capital R” racist, when what I mean is,

I was taught incorrect stereotypes by media as a child, and sometimes despite my best efforts to be egalitarian, these biases cause me to make bad judgements. I try to notice when this happens, to make sure I treat people fairly.

Yeah I’m not saying anyone is a jerk for having sexual interest only with feminine people with vaginas and boobs, I’m just saying that it’s kinda trans-erasure (and therefore technically transphobic) to say

I’m exclusively attracted to cis-women

Because a person doesn’t know the assigned birth sex of every woman they’ve ever been attracted to.

OurToothbrush was offended because she is a transwoman and attracts men that think they’re exclusively attracted to cis-women. She’s on the front line of transphobia, and searching for a partner puts her at a too real risk of being murdered by a transphobe.

Yeah it sounds like absolution is a relevant term. People like to think that there are only biological males and biological females and that’s that. It’s not that simple. People like to think that there are racists and non-racists and that’s that. It’s not that simple. People like to think that there are transphobes and non-transphobes and that’s that. It’s not that simple. To me, being an ally is is about supporting a community to defeat unfair discrimination. Imo supporting individuals with friendship isn’t exactly the same but it’s better than nothing.

Sorry that it has taken me a long time to respond, I’ve been at the cabin, away from my phone.

Yeah the problem is that because of the history of discrimination we don’t have words for relatively harmless discriminatory tendencies. So if I were to say

I have racist tendencies

it sounds like I’m admitting to being a “capital R” racist, when what I mean is,

I was taught incorrect stereotypes by media as a child, and sometimes despite my best efforts to be egalitarian, these biases cause me to make bad judgements. I try to notice when this happens, to make sure I treat people fairly.

Yeah I’m not saying anyone is a jerk for having sexual interest only with feminine people with vaginas and boobs, I’m just saying that it’s kinda trans-erasure (and therefore technically transphobic) to say

I’m exclusively attracted to cis-women

Because a person doesn’t know the assigned birth sex of every woman they’ve ever been attracted to.

Yes saying that you’re exclusively attracted to cis women is an easy short hand.

I think OurToothbrush is frustrated with the erasure of transwomen that you fail to identify as trans.

I think when you said:

I had never met a transfem whose body I found attractive.

You don’t actually know if you’ve ever found a trans-woman attractive because you don’t know the birth details of every women you’ve ever found attractive. Some of them could be trans.

It’s not something I was particularly cognizant of either before seeing OurToothbrush’s reaction.

I think I would have trouble getting it up for a blow job from a smoking hot women after I learned she had a penis. I’m willing to concede that that is technically transphobic. I don’t think it changes the fact that I am an ally of the trans rights movement.

Just say you’re a cis-het male ally and I think everyone will know what you mean. It’s too bad this has been sick an ugly experience, it’s still a hell of a lot easier than gender dysphoria.

Hey MapleEngineer,

I’ve seen you around before and know you’re acting in good faith, and I believe you’re an ally, or at least a potential ally, to the trans community.

I’m chiming in here because I replied to OurToothbrush earlier to give her a cis-het male ally’s perspective, and suggest that she might have more success with a less confrontational strategy.

She suggested I might have better luck explaining her objection to you, or at least that she would appreciate me trying to help you understand her point.

Both your comments are coming fast and furious so I’m trying to respond to your latest.

So here goes:

Your basic point was that you’re exclusively interested in cis-women, and that this is a preference you have, everyone is entitled to preferences so what’s the big deal. It doesn’t mean you’re not an ally.

Life is complex. Just as there’s nobody that’s purely “racially white” (race isn’t real, but that’s beside the point, or maybe it is the point…), there’s nobody that’s purely female or male. Obviously most people’s bodies develop either testicles or ovaries not both, but: there is a sizable portion of the population where it’s not so clear cut. Ultimately: Every person has mutations in their DNA that skew their body towards and away from what’s considered masculine/feminine.

While sexual orientation towards masculine/feminine people doesn’t seem to be strongly influenced by culture (ie I don’t think you can raise a kid to be gay), what a person perceives to be masculine/feminine/trans IS strongly a product of their culture and conditioning.

Viewing sexuality and gender through the framework I laid out above and considering her experiences may help you understand why OurToothbrush sees transphobia where you see sexual preference.

OurToothbrush’s experience seems to be that lots of ‘cis-het-men’ say they aren’t attracted to trans-women, but are in fact attracted to trans-women like her. When they discover that she is a trans-woman they have very negative reactions. Since the (former) suitors were attracted to her until they guessed she was assigned male at birth, but before they had learned the status of her genitalia, how can she conclude anything other than transphobia? Do you see how their reaction is basically the same as your statement?

I pointed out to her that transphobia and homophobia are beaten into men/boys and if they have a negative reaction to learning that a women that they’re attracted to was assigned male at birth, it doesn’t mean they aren’t allies, just that they haven’t unlearned that phobic conditioning. It’s a type of internalized latent transphobia that has infected me too. I don’t dwell on it because as a person in a committed monogamous relationship for over half of my life, it is unlikely to matter, and I suspect it would be a monumental undertaking to unlearn. The effort is better spent healing rifts between allies.

Can you understand why when someone says “I’m exclusively interested in cis-women” a person with OurToothbrush’s experiences might hear “trans-women are gross”.

Tldr; I think I see where you’re both coming from. We cis-het-men are notoriously fragile, especially when our allyship is questioned. I think it will be more effective for people trying to point out people’s latent transphobia to take an educational/ collaborative tone at first, and it’s something I’m going to try to do a better job of helping people understand.

Honestly, thank you two for having this spat so that I could map it out in my head better, I’m not sure I’ve done the best job typing it out though. You’re both welcome to tell me to fuck off.

Having read about your experiences (elsewhere in the thread, you hadn’t posted them when I started my prior comment) I understand your reaction better.

I’ll try to explain it to MapleEngineer.

Are you nitpicking an ally for using “exclusive” instead of “principal”?

MapleEngineer doesn’t actually know for sure that he has never been attracted to a trans woman. So it’s important to correct him when he says he has an exclusive sexual interest in cis-women.

Is that your point? That failing to acknowledge the nuance that sexuality exists on a spectrum must be addressed confrontationally because it’s erasure?

Transphobia and homophobia are too often literally (yes, I mean literally) beaten into men. We have to work to unlearn it. If an ally says he wouldn’t be able to keep it up if he learned the woman he was courting was assigned male at birth, believe him, but don’t discount him as an ally. Imo your efforts are better spent combating active transphobia than policing your allies. If their terminology hurts you, suggest better ways to articulate their points but do it collaboratively instead of confrontationally.

Just my two cents.

I live near a school playground in Vancouver. In the summer the kids don’t use it because it’s too hot and sunny. In the winter kids don’t use it because it’s wet.

I feel like a solar panel canopy would be 3 birds with one stone.