Oh the grind. I misread the whiteboard as Grindr.

… Maybe.

Life, death, either way I’m demoted to a tiny cubicle.

Leave me alone, I’m a chronic procrastinator.

Ugh, still need to make a new account…

It’s a reference to this meme:

The girl pasted over Tintin is Wednesday Addams, and she mistakenly refers to Captain Haddock as a commodore, so instead of Tintin saying “Captain, it’s Wednesday,” Haddock says “Wednesday, it’s Captain.”

See, this is why I advocate for Oxford commas. The way this is written, it makes it sound like the drug addicts are reality TV stars and Fox news hosts… actually, on second thought, carry on.

You call that a pressed ham?

Sorry, Bob’s Burgers beat you to it

And now, without further ado,

Why are you standing two meters away from her, you weirdo? She have COVID or something?

No, it’s a reference to that other song.

Yeah, that’s why I prefer the book, where the woman gives birth to a normal healthy baby boy, who just so happens to look exactly like a mouse.

The present too, for that matter

Censorship isn’t when we get rid of woke books like the dictionary dummy, censorship is when I don’t get to say a slur without anyone getting mad at me.

“Why can’t I just send bullet points?”

“It’s bad etiquette. You have to put in the effort to write a proper email, to show you care.”

“Okay, how do I write a proper email?”

“Oh I just use ChatGPT mostly.”

Death, ideally

You may not like the format, but it was used correctly in this case.

IIRC the original was some kind of Buzzfeed slop, probably ragebait to get people mad at overbearing “feminists.”