I have played a lot of tennis. The only way I win a point against Serena is if she double faults.

Make it a requirement that they are currently active. Pretty unfair if they are naming Mia Hamm, Tonya Harding, and Billy Jean King. Pretty hilarious if they name Caitlyn Jenner.

I bet you can guess from my user name.

In my experience, the c library also depends on several additional libraries which is fine except it needs version 5.0+ of a library that you’re already using 3.4 of. The APIs for the library have been significantly changed, a function in the library that you heavily use has been deprecated, and upgrading to use it is more work than just implementing the desired feature yourself. The manager who suggested the library thinks you are overstating the amount of work using it will require and thinks technical debt is the money he still owes the Indian subcontractors.

TI sold their defense segment business to Raytheon in the late 90s. I don’t think they make missiles anymore.

Clubbed to Death by Rob Dougan from The Matrix. I want a video of the festivities to watch again and again too.

I used to get insatiable thirst in the middle of the night. Then I got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and got my blood sugar under control and it doesn’t happen so much anymore.

Maybe just call them Omega. By 2039, the reasons should be apparent.

Why does his entourage look like the entourage that was escorting Oswald when Jack Ruby struck? They better not whack him.

“Temporarily” as in soon we’ll be longing for when the warming was only 1.5C.

I know how to bag groceries, you fucking condescending asshole. The Walmart and Home Depot self check work every time for me. Kroger has defective ones. Maybe their scales suck. Maybe they need different values for their timers. I am not going to debug it for them unless they pay my software consulting fees which seems highly unlikely because they’ve broken for more than five years.

I hate the self checkout at my local Kroger because it works like fucking dog shit. Always playing a patronizing voice telling me to put the item in the bagging area even though it already is. Always has an inadequate amount of space in the bagging area.

If the purge happens everyone is going to be looting and murdering. I’ll be the person burning down Kroger.

More like “Dammit, my domain auto-remewed again. Oh well, it’s only $12. I’ll cancel next year.” (It’s been 5 years.)

Why does everyone always type 7 asterisks?

Can you teach me how to do that on my Geocities page?

My face when I realize the dude in this meme is probably mid-40s these days.

Unless you work a trade, I would go with Harbor Freight for everything except cordless tools. If you wear the Harbor Freight tool out replace it with something higher quality. For cordless, I don’t know. I have Dewalt and wonder about others. I mostly avoid cordless now.

For trades, see what your coworkers are using. Do you want them borrowing your batteries? (No) Do you want to borrow theirs? (Do you want them to dislike you?)

Je suis Charlie.

I am 7 pretty much everyday, sometimes with a touch of 8 and 4.

Negative 20 is in fact less than five and twenty, so I think you are both technically correct.