You were too nice to minorities. Hate harder next time so the bigots will like us.

Most people prefer not to eat tendies off a paper napkin for every meal. Your case is not the norm.

Part of a standardized curriculum

The real horror is mesothelioma

Needful Things kinda hits this. It’s a novel, but it’s Stephen King so it goes quick.

Thank you. As the inventor of the term “mansplaining”, I had no idea and would have remained ignorant if you hadn’t explained this.

I would play as male characters and then dye their armor pink and flirt relentlessly with the boys. It was fun, especially when you’d get on teamspeak with them after playing together for weeks and they’d be like “wait you’re a girl?”

(⌒▽⌒)

Yep, I fantasize about baiting a physical fight with my husband’s abusive piece of shit father if I ever meet him. I’d lose, but hopefully get the fucker thrown in jail in the process.

Were you cross-Shepping?

Same 😭

Also Pinterest aesthetic

Inverse chainmail bikini

When your pilates instructor catches you moving a body

Sounds fake.

They said 90%, your mom was just part of the lucky 10%!

City vacations: restaurant hunting

Nature vacations: grueling 6am deathmarch #87

Beach vacations: binge drinking and washing sand out of things

Theses is the plural of thesis. Kinda looks stupid out of context but there you go.