That was my experience. If I did want to check an executable because I was getting a cracked copy of something I had a piece of shit computer that wasn’t connected to anything where I could move the file and test it.

Most of the malware was hilariously unoptimized and would grind the piece of shit to a halt immediately. I had a stolen copy of Deep Freeze from work so a quick reboot put everything back.

I know a family who was directly behind one and one of the thinner logs flew off the truck and through their window directly between the two adults in the front seat.

A friend of mine was riding behind a semi when the bracket holding the mudflap detached. Ended up with a 2 inch hole in his hood. The cop that came out wouldn’t write up a report for insurance because he didn’t believe the story, even in the middle of the damn interstate with a fresh hood hole. So my friend drove around for years with a hole in his hood. I think that’s the day he started hating cops.

You keep saying that but I told you I don’t have a wife. It’s just me and you, buddy.

I’m actually very happy with both, I just like to talk shit.

You’re goddamn right.

My therapist just asks if I drank less than last week. Then we have a staring contest for 26 minutes.

I got a coach at the gym and we do the same thing.

Now I need to figure out which one to fire because that’s almost an hour of me not admitting shit. I only really need it from one of them.

I love blue rare filets, but I don’t enjoy a ribeye or strip that way because the fat doesn’t have any time to render and ends up with a gross texture.

For a really good ribeye (assuming I have the time and energy) I’ll smoke it on low up to rare then sear it so it comes out medium rare.

I understand having a “man cave” or whatever you want to call it, but has anyone ever explained the point of having naked or lingerie clad women on the walls?

I’m a straight dude who likes naked women. I look at them from time to time. But I don’t get it as decoration for your hobby/work/game area.

Somebody please find Ja Rule, get ahold of this motherfucker so I can make sense of all this!

Y’all gotta stop calling me out like this.

I grew up in Texas. Needs more dominos and spades, and pawpaw needs to pray over the food.

I ain’t religious but I ain’t telling pawpaw not to pray over the food.

My new retirement plan is to open that joint here in the States.

I bet I’m about to own one just like it

It does look like a sapper or field jacket.

And it’s constantly screaming at us.

Like a random picture? Because that could get real weird if it goes into standby around others.

I didn’t even see that photo bomb.

All we are is dust in the wind, dude.

That’s so fucking funny. My best friend has a tattoo of the Welsh Dragon on his arm. He’s a country ass straight dude and is about to go showing it off telling people they’ll never understand what his sexuality is.