And everyone else is the asshole for wanting you to control your petulant, loud, germy, and annoying little bundle of joy.

Lots of people have procreated that really shouldn’t have, unfortunately.

I feel this meme so hard.

I don’t hate anyone, but I do hate EVERYONE.

So, so true.

I redesigned my team’s intranet at work so we could minimize the use of Teams as much as possible.

It’s a stupidity tax, basically.

Really wish I could have back every dollar my parents spent on lottery tickets over the course of their lifetimes, go back in time, and drop it all in stocks instead.

Oh yeah. My mom is a big fan of the ol’ “Don’t tell anyone I told you this, but…”

And I always say: “If you’re not supposed to be telling me, then don’t.”

Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.

Nearly everyone in this country lacks critical thinking skills.

It’s why we still have a two-party system.

That’s the dang truth.

Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.

Weird stat aside, I was watching a podcast with Scott Galloway yesterday and he made a comment about Jerome Powell bringing inflation down to 2% without triggering a recession, and I had to facepalm. The rich, even those with a shred of empathy, are massively out of touch with what the 99% are experiencing right now.

God, no.

I love my peace and wouldn’t trade it for anyone.

I suppose, if you’re looking to make it more convenient, you could cook things in bulk and then freeze portions of it for later consumption.

Good old Duterte.

Bummer that they’re not taking him up for one of his signature helicopter rides.

Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries. This guy must have been really badly-behaved.

Two wives?

That must be unbearable.

HA, needed that laugh. Thanks.

I had ‘be excellent to each other’ stenciled on my very first ipod.

Shouldn’t it be ‘tmrw’?

The national news media got behind it big, which I really don’t understand.

It never made any sense.