I always use wine when cooking anything with tomatoes in it. Tomatoes (and other vegetables) have a lot of flavor compounds that are alcohol-soluble and the wine brings them out.

Wow, I hate to bring up Spanish smoked paprika then.

Put black garlic in everything.

I started watching TV cooking shows in the late 90s (e.g. Good Eats, Iron Chef, Naked Chef etc.) and I would just cook what I saw for my friends. They were all “wow ChickenLady you’re such an amazing chef” for a few years until they started watching that shit themselves. Then they were all “you should have used white balsamic vinegar and black garlic in that”.

I was just in a literal CVS an hour ago and they have a sign on the receipt printer that says “please don’t grab receipt until it is done printing.” It’s like, shouldn’t the fact that you had to write a sign like that be an indicator that you’re printing out too much shit?

I used to work for an organization in Atlanta that was similar to Habitat for Humanity but smaller. Our mission was to build and rehab housing for homeless people. Ironically, our typical project involved buying an “abandoned” house that was actually occupied by a large number of squatters. The first step was us carpenters going in with shovels and axes and whatnot and rousting everybody out. We would then do an absurdly overpriced renovation on a property that would have been cheaper to tear down and rebuild from scratch, and then the house would be sold to a single family that was relatively well-off enough to afford a mortgage. I was too young to realized it at the time, but I think the whole thing was just a charity scam being run by the CEO.

That’s what happened to Larry Niven’s Ringworld. Cool concept but laughably unsupported by basic Physics. Niven had to write a sequel not because anybody wanted to see more of his characters but because he was tired of readers telling him what a moron he was.

The Integral Trees was a way better concept and much better thought out.

We can’t accept drum and bass. We need jungle, I’m afraid.

“What is an Imagine Dragon, anyway?”
“Imagine Dragon deez nutz across your face.”

Aka Big Blue Man (from Little Big Man).

I don’t know anyone who can even remember what the story part of Cameron’s Avatar actually was, let alone anyone who liked the story part. The part about the regular human’s consciousness taking over the artificial blue critter is completely forgotten, and that’s the whole reason the movie was called Avatar in the first place.

They’re talking about Sleep Token, aren’t they?

“I may not agree with what you say, but I will fight to the death for your right to shut the fuck up.”

I had the reverse happen with an ex-girlfriend’s two favorite bands, Death Cab For Cutie and The Decembrists. I fucking HATED that shit when I was with her and had to put so much effort into pretending to like it. A decade after we broke up I was all “wow, this is actually pretty good music”. Weird.

Termite walks into a bar and says “hey, where’s the bartender?”

When I was in the 8th grade, I had a friend with two kids. TBF he had been held back for four years and should have been a senior in high school by that point, but it was still pretty unusual.

TBF it’s a bit uncommon to berate someone for their sexuality and then insist that they and their partner join you for dinner.

folks had to keep eating like the Luftwaffe was still blitzing London

To be more precise, they had to keep eating like the Kriegsmarine’s U-bootwaffe was still sinking the ships with the food.

And open all the windows sometimes!

^ This … it lets all the pot smoke out, too.

I’m a school bus driver and I obey speed limits religiously (and somehow I’m almost alone in this among my coworkers despite the fact that our buses all have GPS monitors installed and our boss can see exactly how fast we’re going at all times). Almost every day I have people behind me blasting their horns at me for this. Like, just imagine getting road rage at a fucking school bus driver.

My favorite thing is when they tailgate me, apparently oblivious to the fact that I can’t see them at all when they do this, not even in my mirrors.