We are currently further from the release of the song “1989” than the release was from actual 1989.

I usually buy the cheap Fruity Pebbles for my kids, but Walmart has out of them one day so I got the name brand as a treat. Their response? “Dad, please don’t buy those again. Dyno Bites are better.” I was flabbergasted.

Then again, they don’t see cereal ads, don’t know who the Flintstones are, but love dinosaurs.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been, but I distinctly remember Olive Garden having a chocolate lasagna. It was decent, but nothing to rave about.

Yes Babe, I am real man

Texagons are the worstagons.

Thank Mr Skeltal

I decided to think outside the box.

Just call me Giles.

A Big Mac is a cake?

So Subway sells tacos? You learn something new every day.

The reason infinity $100 bills is more valuable than infinity $1 bills: it takes less effort to utilize the money.

Let’s say you want to buy a $275,000 Lamborghini. With $1 bills, you have to transport 275,000 notes to pay for it. That will take time and energy. With $100 bills, you have to transport 2750 notes. That’s 100x fewer, resulting in a more valuable use of time and energy.

Even if you had a magical wallet that weighed the same as a standard wallet and always a had bills of that type available to pull out when you reach in. It’s less energy to reach in a fewer number of times.

Let’s toss in the perspective of the person receiving the money, too. Wouldn’t you rather deal with 2750 notes over 275,000, if it meant the same monetary value? If you keep paying in ones, people will get annoyed. Being seen favorably has value.

Value is about more than money.

I fully endorse this headline. Unrelated: I stop reading at apostrophes.

Edit: In this case, I meant the second apostrophe. Fail.

Tim Allen is a Dick.

Highway interchange ahead?

Every heard of the word meme?

I was going to tell you a dick joke, but it’s too hard.

Bad Horse is watching you masturbate.

I mean it CAN be a job if they also do repairs, landscaping, and/or preventative maintenance. Almost none of them do it though.