Who is this?

This is a learned response. Once bitten, twice shy.

What gender are you when you’re sleeping alone in bed with nobody to warn you that you just slept through your alarm and are about to be catastrophically late for work?

Australia can into EU plz?

I’ll show you fuckin’ left!

Life is a joke

“You won’t be bullied for being queer if you have a 20” chainsaw

I’m not technically allowed to sell the Lenovo laptop I bought earlier this year unless I get permission from the US Govt. It says so right on the invoice

Jokes on them, I’m selling it anyway hah ha.

Does anyone else hear the sound of chinooks?

Personally, I look forward to visiting Cascadia, and travelling to the DMZ to point and gawk at the ruins of the new hermit kingdom.

Benis

I wish I was a girl so I could kiss another girl.

Why are they just standing there in like waist deep grass?

Shortcut to getting sectioned

No no, I’m with you here…

Rice is one of the foods of all time

That arm go all the way down and them teeth go all the way up

Through Vader, all things are possible, so jot that down

I heard about a hostage situation at waffle house once. Except the staff were the hostage-takers.

Gopnik dazzle camoflauge

A mortar, you say?