I give the sun a stern staredown every morning just to keep it in its place.

I used to stare at the sun when I was a kid. Now I have visual snow syndrome. Don’t know if it’s related, but sunlight for long periods of time definitely aggrevates it.

look, the last time i tried to make eye contact i couldn’t see for like, 10 minutes

We (in the US) had a president that questioned this on live television. So brave.